Thursday, 14 January 2016

adrift in waters unknown

For some odd reason, this post has been on draft for week. I could never bring myself to finish it and post something. So I guess this is me writing a week later. What was I up to?
I'm listening to this while I type so I think you should listen to it while you read.



sometime last week:

"I've realised some things: 1) i really like lowercase letters. 2) i am in such a weird mood; i don't know what mood i'm in right now and i tried to google "the mood when you don't know what mood you're in" but apparently the only thing this correlates to is "making love" 3) i really hate boys. 4) i'm having trouble expressing and explaining myself lately which is literally making me want to live in a box until i figure myself out."
















here is my attempt to explain it all:

1)

I think e.e cummings is implicitly to blame for my sudden awakening of love for lower case letters. I recently read his poem called "my mind is", and I felt like I could relate to the empty, unsureness but sureness of it all. My favourite lines are:

"nevertheless i
feel that i cleverly am being altered that i slightly am
becoming something a little different"

2)

Everything is really in a state of flux at the moment. My house is getting re-done, but we're kind of at the before stage; where things are just starting to get moved around and this feeling of change is kind of shadowing over me and it hasn't hit me yet, but in my relationship with change I feel both passive and active. School's a bit of a drag at the moment - things need to be done, and they're getting done, but just at a slow pace. In other words, school is a very slow roller coaster at the moment.

I felt like doing a "recreating myself 2k16" thing. Some recent instagraming endeavours:
ig: cosmic.grrl.


 

3)

I only said "I hate boys" because of a post I saw on Tumblr where a girl was trying to explain to her boyfriend over text that she felt offended by his laughing at an article that demoralised black women to praise white women, and the boy was being so rude and insensitive about the whole situation, and the fact that he was a black man himself made it worse! I came to realise that most boys are like this (insensitive) and I...just...don't...have...the...time...
I saw a feature on Polyester Zine called "Boycott boyfriends 2015" and I interpreted it further and was overcome with this great feeling of girl power. Too bad it's 2016 now. Maybe things will be different?

Boycott Boyfriends Polyester Zine


4)

I've moved into the box and I'm trying to figure stuff out. It's working so far.


I watched this video by Teen Vogue on Youtube, made by the one and only Amandla Sternberg called "Things black girls are tired of hearing" - you've probably already seen it but if you haven't, here's the link! I really enjoyed watching it because they combined the hard hitting reasons on why some comments are offensive with humour and it's just a beautiful way to tell it how it is.
My favourite comment was: "You would change your hair this much if you could, I promise you." Because I feel it doesn't even need explaining; it speaks for itself.















So this is my first post of 2k16! Sorry for the messiness of it all. Since it's the new year, I'm going to change it up a bit anyway. I'm excited to have another really good year with the cool people I have met on this blogging spectrum. Positive and weird and "rant-y" vibes all round.

~peace out and don't forget to give lowercase letters a chance. Zoe xo~

4 comments:

  1. Tame Impala = YYEESSS. I totally get the whole expressing/explaining yourself situation, it happens to me way too often. I have tons of short drafts of me trying to type a blogpost, but then I stop in the middle or beginning of it because I start to lose what I want to say. It's one of the most annoying things eeever. I get your love for lowercase letters, it's much more simpler. Also, I've never heard of Polyester Zine and I just looked through their website and I loooove it, so thanks for introducing it to me!!! Amandla is honestly one of the most inspiring -close to my age- people. So awesome.

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    Replies
    1. I hate that feeling, like your brain just stops and you mentally cant be bothered to think of anything else to say.
      Yay, I'm glad you like them! They're such an awesome girl power-y zine. One day I hope to contribute some stuff to them! xo

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  2. Aw I love this, and I love lowercase too. Good luck in your reinvention, discovery, and use of your frustration. xx

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thanks for your comment, they never fail to make me smile + i appreciate them so much!