Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Starting where I am.

Meera Lee Patel is a self-taught artist and writer based in Brooklyn, NY, who is yet to release her book called "Start Where You Are" - an interactive journal for 'self-exploration'. I had the extremely awesome chance to collaborate with Penguin at the Random House to read this book and write about my own interpretation of it.

I have always loved these types of books. I'm a sucker for motivating prompts, cute exercises, and self-reflection, and this book has come at the most perfect time for me. With the stress of college and, to be honest, my own internal-conflict, I couldn't be more grateful for a creative outlet other than my diary to help me along the path of finding myself.

In the introduction, Meera talks about why she decided to create "Start Where You Are." She expresses the troubles she went through herself that prompted her to dig a little deeper and create an outline of what she felt. I could relate a lot to some of the things she said: "I spent a lot of my years longing for the past or waiting for the future to arrive, confused about where I was and where I wanted to go." That line was pretty much written about me. I'm constantly having flash backs of things that never happened and constantly manipulating the past in my head to make me feel better about the unsatisfied outcome of the present. "The hardest questions are the ones that open doors." I completely agree with this. You know that whole sentiment of denial and admission that everyone has to go through at least once in their lives? This book encompasses this whole aura, and I was more than excited to start the process of introspection.

The book features inspirational quotes that are hand-illustrated and beautifully vibrant, followed by a an exercise related to it, which come in the form of a list, chart, writing prompt or drawing. I really loved how it encouraged me to get in touch with my creative side, getting me thinking as a distraction from the work-related thinking I had been doing. I have photographed some of my favourite pages (though I desperately wanted to photograph it all.)

This is one of my favourite pages in the whole journal. "Persistence guarantees that results are inevitable."

I haven't even written on it yet, because it requires such precious thinking. But I have an idea of what I will write. I love how my "ideal life" could be something so spontaneous and "unlikely" to happen, but this page doesn't care - it just wants me to imprint the mountain with my dream, making it, in a way, come true.

This kind of thinking is extremely important. Most people tend to bask in their sadness - I know I definitely do sometimes - but shaking it off and realising what really matters at the end of the day is a very courageous and powerful quality to develop, because it encourages resilience. If you don't give up, satisfactory outcomes are literally INEVITABLE. It reminded me of a quote by Beverly Sills: "You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." - I always, always, ALWAYS say this to myself before I try something that I am feeling ambivalent about. Like getting purple hair! Yeah I may curl into a ball and cry if it looks disgusting, but how would I ever have known it would look gross if I didn't put it on my head? And what if it looked banging? Then what?

I really, really love that quote by Sylvia Plath. Some of her words make my heart feel weak, because she says so little in such profound, easy ways and always about a feeling that I can relate to. The exercise paired with this was simple: "Breathe deep and think about your place in the universe. Think about how the particles you're made of are the same particles that make up the earth, moon, stars. You are." WE ARE. Aren't we? You're here, I'm here and we are all living, moving, existing. WE ARE. YOU ARE. I AM!

This page caught my attention. I guess this is what Meera talked about in the introduction. It is asking me to dig deeper and face a hidden truth. I have trouble confronting hard truths; accepting that something didn't turn out the way I wanted. I'm terrible at moving on. My heart and brain don't cooperate at times like this. My brain knows that I need to let go, but my heart is constantly saying: "hey how about this? Go make up another scenario, go daydream about how that situation could have turned out if you said this, go and indulge yourself in this manipulated memory, you love it." 

WHAT I WANT TO DO: Get a nose piercing. WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK: That I'm pretentious, it looks stupid. WHAT OTHERS WILL DO ABOUT IT: Compliment me. 
In other words? Nothing. 
Nothing will be done to stop me from achieving this minor goal. Yes, nearly every young person has some sort of facial piercing today. People can think whatever they desire about my personal decision, but how can I not pursue it only to realise that no-one will have stopped me? What I love about this exercise is how superfluous it becomes after you fill in first box. You realise immediately what it's trying to emphasise. It allowed me to voice my unnecessary anxieties onto paper, making me become aware of how stupid they are. It also released a bit more of the rebellion in me. so whAT IF I WANT TO DO THIS? Imma do it!!! 
You might as well live by this mentality, you know? If no-one is going to stop you, then do it. Do it until you get stopped.

Think of something that is currently troubling you and write about it here. Don't try to solve it; just focus on getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper.                                                     This is what I wrote (pls ignore the stupidity of it): "I don't know why, but I keep on getting stressed about followers on Instagram - no matter how many times I look in the mirror and tell myself I honestly don't care. I want to take selfies (really pretty ones) that make me look cool and different. Pictures of me that remind others that I can move on, I can be daring, I can be beautiful and different. I'm stressed about my future, how much time is left and about the concept of time itself. I really feel like I just need to rest and not think for a while." 
Below are the rest of the pages that I admired for it's inspiring nature and it's beautiful design. 

This reminded me to know not only where my priorities lie, but where my sources of necessity come from. "Live your life, live your live, live your life." Of course the repetition only accentuated the importance of living your life. How can words be so simple yet communicate the most powerful messages? Beats me. 

Introspection. I will fill this hand with images, colours, patterns, words - anything - that gives me an inky and thick impression of what I want and feel. My "life's map" will light the way for everything I need to find myself. True places are never found on regular maps.

Can we just appreciate the intricate, delicate artistry here? The watercolour blue is so dreamy.

"We become what we think about" - Earl Nightingale. Think happy thoughts. 

In short, for me, "Start Where You Are" is the printed equivalent of a huge exhalation. A release of stress of those clingy, expendable emotions that we carry with us. The sole purpose of those feelings are to stop us from shaking off the poison that they reek and reaching for our dreams, learning to move on with thing; whatever they may be. 

Jessica Hagy, the author of 'How to Be Interesting' says: "A brilliant travel guide for navigating the nooks and crannies of imagination." I agree, I feel like it does provoke creativity and insight. But it also, if anything, stretches it's arms and tugs at the unsolved baggage in my brain and heart. It makes me think about anything and everything. It really is a journal for "Self-exploration." You explore yourself, you discover what you really feel, despite how much you try to deny it. I would definitely recommend purchasing this gem when you can!!!

And just like Meera herself says: "Take your time. Use what you have. Start where you are."


Saturday, 12 March 2016

warm, dense

I am currently sitting in bed with the laptop on my thighs
even though i heard that that's dangerous.
(something to do with the vibrations?)
kali uchis did a cover of 'Sabor A Mi' on her soundcloud,
it's been on repeat for a while.
(i've lost count of how many times.)
It makes me feel warm,
like I'm floating on translucent ivory clouds
of soft silky material.
i went to one of Chill Pill's spoken word nights,
and now every thought i have is constructed like a poem.
I ran around a lot today and hugged
a friend who was quite sickly.
It's late,
and piles of work are yet to be done,
but all i want to do is be held,
write and deliver spoken word to a crowd
and watch as they are enraptured by the power
that 26 letters can have.

(i didn't want to post this but i wanted to say hi)

Thursday, 3 March 2016

why there needs to be more creative spaces for PoC + other stuff


These are some of the photos I took for my media studies coursework you may have heard about in my other post. I needed to take some more for my double page spread, so once again my beautiful gal pals posed for more photos. These weren't taken in the trendy streets of Shoreditch though - the weather was quite nice for once so we went to the park at the back of our school.

So whilst I was taking these and thinking about my coursework, I realised I really wanted to make the zine that I was taking about before. (They play 3 girls who have created an online zine called 'Neptune Estate' for PoC.) Most zines I have seen and read are beautiful and creative and inspiring - but most of them are ever so slightly...whitewashed? 
Maybe that's the wrong word to use but I haven't seen zines where a good number of contributors are people of colour. To some extent, our voices are still unheard in the media and there are rarely spaces for PoC to artistically express ourselves without having to gravitate to a space specifically made for us rather than streaming it into the mainstream, the norm. Very short way to say all of that but it was just something that popped up. But I do really want to make Neptune Estate in the future. I want to get into illustration and digital design and stuff as well!  


Plasma Dolphin have just realised their 8th issue called 'Worlds Collide.' I have just finished reading it and it is FLAWLESS. I have written for it too! You can find my piece here. Check out the whole issue when you have the time. The themes explored and written about are extremely beautiful, as well as the art, photography and film!

peace out beautiful ppl, and see you in the next post! Zoe xo