Friday, 22 April 2016

sweet 17?

Today I have turned the sweet age of 17. I don't feel jolly, and a feeling of "change" hasn't really hit me yet. It's been a really full on month, April. I've barely had time to just sit and think, or meditate, or block out the world and concentrate on the simple surroundings of my mind. I wonder when I will, and I wonder what it will look like. Probably some time in later May after my first exam is over. Either way, somehow, I have to get through the next few weeks without crumbling to the ground. I won't crumble! I'm strange. Life is strange. I'm strange because I'm insanely positive, yet there are times when I feel like taking the route of gloom as opposed to the scenic route.

I've been thinking a lot about the period of adolescence. We all live complex and detailed lives yet will never understand the true complexities of one another's. We leave childhood, then we loiter between innocence and experience. We lack emotional stability, we laugh, we cry, we drink, we sleep, we lie, we work, we make decisions and then we change them. We crave solitude and then desire attention and affection. We're another species of human! It's fascinating. I'm thinking of doing a lot of photography projects in the summer that reflect this period of time.

I was having a really topsy-turvy week, but one day, a Tuesday I think it was, the weather was glorious, so I went outside and took some photos. (They're really just selfies though.)

What I found weird about these selfies was 1: I have never succeeded in taking a normal photograph of myself from this angle ever. And 2: Low-angle shots are supposed to have connotations of power and strength, making a person or object look larger. These selfies acted as a form of self-inflicted empowerment. (does that even make sense?) I took photos of myself that made me look in control, that made me look strange. It's a still shot, but I'm active, and the receiver of this photo is passive. I'm talking gibberish aren't I? lol. I think it just, subtly, portrayed a weird sense of introspection, representing a new finding of identity or something like that.

I think 17 will be a weird one. A great one, but an odd one.
~ peace out and see you in the next post ~ Zoe xo