Monday, 3 July 2017

lemme be the spoon to your honey

hello u beautiful reader,

my 8tracks playlists haven't been that good this year lol but I made another one dedicated to the summer blues I was experiencing exactly two years ago. The summa blues r back :/ and the world feels hazy, but that's nothing new. I think this season is naturally made up of a melancholic sweetness. Not trying to romanticise the world but we all feel it don't we? Click here to listen to this dreamy compilation of slow jam and jazz.

1. 4AM - Anajah
2. Chamber of Reflection - Mac DeMarco
3. I'm the Man, That Will Find You - Connan Mockasin
4. Chimichanga - Kali Uchis
5. 24k - Biig Piig
6. All or Nothing - Kali Uchis
7. That Someone Must Be You - Jimmie Lunceford
8. Ode To Viceroy - Mac DeMarco

So far I have been doing nothing, except for partying. I've been feeling creative and weird and vibey and it's all strange and kind of exciting. I started calling for submissions for the second issue of my zine,  and I'm going to be selling the rest of issue one with  'GRRRL ZINE FAIR' at the Village Green Festival this week - my first zine fair! Calling all black women and femmes - submit submit submit! Deadline is the 5th august. <3 Check out the site for the submission guidelines.  

I plan to finally catch up on my long-ass reading list this summer. I can't be an English student at uni and have read nothing over the break, I'll look like a mug. (I'm acc so nervous, what if everyone on my course is super pretentious and I'm just there like yeh I've never read Jane Eyre before what's it about??) What is everyone reading???

I've also been writing a bit of poetry. Here are two lil' somethings I wrote a while ago:



The ashes drop onto my skin
and burn with intention.
Why should it that they 
fall into the vulnerable part of my 
female body,
tickling the surface of the old scar,
that I, one day, 
will imprint on another.
Growth from womb,
life then tomb.
The Amethyst works in favour,
its purpose is known.
The ashes from the sage 
excite a vulnerable part of me.
Tension is made out of tranquility.
The tension is transient.
the scene is spiritual.
the scene is still perfect. 


"they went to see their lovers, and i went home to bed"

'what about that boy you were talking to?' she asks, as if to answer this question is as easy as being spoiled with consistency in the 21st century.
my room light is off and i let my bed sheets consume my excessively lonely body.
head against pillow, i destructively and delicately allow myself to wish it were you.
or the other guy, i can't remember.
the fantasies have mingled so i don't know who i love more
but i know that in this moment in time i am heartbroken by both.
the most painful type - the heartbreak that is an empty jar of made up memories and sickly dreams.
dreams. not reality.
the heartbreak from a love that never happened.
the pathetic type. the bulimic type.
everyone is falling in love while i fall out of life.
a glance at romance and my mind and body turn inside out and
suddenly i am falling into the deepest of holes and can't get out. it's a curse.
how about i detach myself emotionally from reality to avoid that tingly feeling you get when something that never started is over?
i am back in my bedroom and i remember that
they have gone to see their lovers,
and i have gone home to bed.

my summer mood-board: (All photos found on Tumblr)

wow this blog post is a mess lmao - but I feel it is representative of how this summer has been going tbh. I hope everyone is enjoying the time off they are having! Listen to music, put your feet up, go exploring, read and sleep. Speaking of music, I realised that Mac De Marco's albums 'Salad Days' and '2' and Amy Winehouse's 'Frank' are albums that I can listen to all the way through, on repeat. Top to bottom. They are all so beautiful!
hope you enjoyed this mess of a post! ~peace out~ and see you in the next one.
Zoe xo


thanks for your comment, they never fail to make me smile + i appreciate them so much!